In the midst of an adaptive challenge we need to intentionally embrace some new behaviors. One of the ones that tends to stretch us most is the behavior entitled “get used to uncertainty and conflict,” from the competency Manage Self.
We are naturally conflict-avoidant. We could call this being Menno-nice. But beneath the surface of that niceness can lie unresolved irritation or (dare we say) conflict. These are unavoidable realities whenever people are involved. We can either let that conflict fester and enslave us or we can name it, address it, and make progress through it.
Uncertainty is equally undesirable, but then again so is arrogance. We are limited human beings and thus cannot know all things (that’s for God alone). At some point we have to humbly accept that we don’t and can’t know it all. And in working with adaptive challenges it’s actually better to assume you know less so that you can take on a posture of listening, exploring, and experimenting.
Think of the possibilities if we were able to humbly listen rather than arrogantly assume? Or if we were willing to seek resolution to our conflicts rather than wait until we end up in fight or flight mode? If we are committed to one another and the work of God’s Kingdom, then we can make progress on our adaptive challenges no matter what uncertainty and conflict we face!
Here’s some tips from Your Leadership Edge on how to leverage uncertainty and conflict to make progress on your challenge. When it comes to uncertainty, remember to hold to your purpose and to think of every situation as an opportunity to learn. Also, conflict can be productive when we take time to anticipate potential conflict, when we don’t take it all personally, and when we can truly empathize with others.
Another way to phrase the behavior in a more positive light would be to seek opportunities to offer grace to others and to yourself. When triggered by another person, offer them grace. When you feel overwhelmed by the demand to have all the answers, offer yourself grace. When your team is struggling to come to consensus, pause to offer each other grace. And as the uncertainty and conflict arises, let grace abound!
--Clayton Gladish